中考英语作文万能句子

发布时间：2024-05-01 来源：1566作文网作者：白春灵

my favorite animal

i really, really like dogs. they're fluffy and they wag their tails when they see you, it's so happy-making! i remember one time, my friend's dog, max, he jumped on me like he was saying 'hi!' even though he was bigger than me. that's what i love about dogs, they don't care how big or small you are, they just want to be your friend.

dogs also have different colors, some are black, white, brown or even spotted. they can run really fast, faster than me, i bet. and they can catch balls, which is super cool. but sometimes, they bark too much, especially at night, that's when i wish they could be quiet like cats.

once, my dog, charlie, got lost in the park. i was so scared but then i heard his barking from far away, and i followed the sound until i found him. that day, i realized how loyal dogs are, they never leave you alone. they're like superheroes with four legs!

老师评语：

你的作文充满了对狗狗的喜爱之情，生动地描绘了它们的特点。但要注意，'happy-making'并非标准英文，应改为'joyful'。另外，'even though he was bigger than me'后应加上'it made me feel loved'之类的句子以完善逻辑。'that's what i love about dogs'后面可以插入'it doesn't matter who you are'这样的补充，使句子更完整。

内容亮点：

你的作文展现了你对狗狗的深厚感情，使用了丰富的形容词和动词，如'fluffy', 'wag', 'jumped', 'barked'等，使读者能感受到你的热情。你的故事讲述也很吸引人，特别是找到charlie的经历，展示了狗的忠诚。

优化参考：

建议在描述狗狗特性时，可以加入更多具体的行为或细节，如'max would roll over for a belly rub, showing his affectionate nature.' 这样可以使你的描述更加立体。同时，对于狗晚上吠叫的问题，可以尝试这样改写：'though their midnight barks could be disruptive, it's their way of protecting their territory and loved ones.'

批改后作文

my absolute favorite animals are dogs. their fluffy coats and wagging tails never fail to bring a smile to my face. like when max, my friend's energetic labrador, would bound up to me as if to say, 'hello, friend!', despite his towering size, it always filled me with joy. dogs come in various hues - black, white, brown, and even speckled. their speed is astonishing, leaving me in awe as they chase down balls with incredible agility.

yet, sometimes their enthusiasm can be overwhelming, especially their late-night barks. it's a reminder, however, of their protective nature, ensuring their surroundings are safe. once, charlie, my devoted companion, wandered off in the park. the anxiety was palpable until his distant bark guided me to him, emphasizing their unwavering loyalty. dogs, indeed, are four-legged superheroes who never abandon us.